Tuesday, September 6, 2016

My baby is going to Preschool, and why im so emotional about it

So this week my sweet oldest baby started 3 year old preschool. This is a pretty big milestone for any mother, its an emotional time. For me, I'm a very emotional person anyway but this week has been really, really rough for me. As I was getting Parker ready this morning I was very calm and trying to take in each word he spoke and then it hit me. My baby going to preschool isn't what's making me so emotional, its the fact that if God hadn't placed him in our life, I have no idea where he would be today. And if I let my imagination get the best of me I COULD have an idea of where he would be.

We were and continue to be blessed that Andrea listen to her heart and that God led her to us. We prayed and prayed for a baby for so long and our answered prayer was in the form of adoption of a beautiful 6lb baby boy. I heard his first cry, cut his cord, fed him from my body. He is mine, my baby, my sweet angel that for the past 3 years ive played and taught and laughed with. There are many times that I have to stop and just thank God for that moment, that hes mine, because its then that my mind wonders to "if he wasn't here with me where/what would he be doing?" Its a thought Im sure most adoptive mommies have. It happens often and we really never say it out loud, its just a thought, because we cant go there. We live in the now, hes here with me to love and show love and that's what keeps us going everyday.

If you've ever met my Parker then your life has been forever changed. Hes pretty much the greatest thing since slice bread. His heart is as big as the sky. He has NEVER met a stranger. He loves and he loves BIG!!!! Everyone he has ever came in contact with never leaves he sight without a smile, a wonderful "Ive just been blessed smile!" His love for everyone is huge, he cares so much about everything. He radiates love and joy, it honestly feels like it just leaks from every part of his body. It qualities I hope he never loses and just gets greater as he grows.

With all that said, its God's amazing grace that that little sweet boy is MINE. He was given to me and Charlie and we have not one day taken that for granted. So sending my little miracle to preschool has been hard because he's growing up on me. But, its also because I know what an amazing piece of God's grace we've been given and I want to cherish it forever. I know there are many places he could of been right now, but i'm grateful that he's right where he's supposed to be!!

Friday, May 20, 2016


It seems that life with two boys is a pretty busy one. It's been quite a few months since I've blogged.
Parker is three years old. He's a very energetic, crazy, funny little boy. We're currently in our first season of u4 soccer. He kinda likes it. He'd rather socialize with the girls than kick the ball. His daddy is concerned he isn't going to be athletic....I think it's hilarious! He's three!!!! He's enjoying himself and that's what matters!!! He's going to start preschool in September, which breaks my heart to pieces. But he's going to go two years before kindergarten so I know he'll love it and do well.....his daddy is a preschool dropout so hopefully Parker will do better!!! He's a great big brother to Brody. He loves him so much. Their bond is beautiful and I enjoy watching them play and laugh!

Brody man will be two in just a few short weeks. I have no idea how the time flies by as quickly as it does. He's going to have a tractor themed party. He's starting to learn how to ride and drive Parker's tractor, so he may be getting one for his birthday. He's starting to get such a fun personality. I think he's going to be more like me...😉. The boy eats from the time he's awake to the time he goes to bed (also like his momma). He adores Parker and loves playing with him. He learns so much from him and wants to be just as big as him. Brody is my lovey baby, he's always loving and hugging and kissing. He's so sweet, it melts my heart. He's my sweet blessing.

Charlie and I are enjoying parenthood. It's the hardest job that tests our patience and feels our heart with so much joy!

This blog was made for those who want to read about our journey to parenthood. It's here to help encourage others as they long for their dreams of having a baby to come true. I hope when those who still read this get that encouragement. We've had a long, painful journey that led us to adoption the experiencing our own pregnancy and birth. Both boys are the greatest blessing and answered prayer from our wonderful God who, even though we're undeserving, continues to bless us!
With that said, we ask that you continue to pray for Parker's birth mom, Andrea. She has a pretty big decision to make in the coming months. We love her very much and her life and her issues will always be apart of us. We want her to be happy and know how loved she is. We will always be so thankful for all she's done for us in our sweet Parker. The joy he's brought is beyond explanation. Adoption is the greatest, most humbling experience. Please continue to pray for her to look to the lord in all she does! 

Here are a few pics of our crazy life with our biggest blessings and greatest joys!!!!
Always remember in all circumstances to PUSH!!!

Friday, August 22, 2014

Blessed mother of two!!

It gets harder and harder to write this blog! Being a mommy of  two precious boys means I barely have time to brush my teeth let alone sit down and type. But after 2 months I think I've got it down.....I think!

On June 18th at 11:45pm Brody Ryan came into this wold. He weighed  7lbs 11oz and was 20 1/2 in long. It was the longest, hardest day of my life!! I was induced at 10:00 pm on June 17th, by 6:00 the pitocine had started. The contractions were every two minutes but I still haven't dilated passed 1cm. So I got my epidural at 9:00 and Dr. Ott broke my water about 15 minutes after. The epidural was a breeze however it caused my blood pressure and heart rate to drop which made me super sick. I threw up the entire time I was in labor. I finally reached 10cm at about 9:30 that night, I pushed for two hours. I was completely and totally exhausted. Brody was not wanting to come out, I cried because I was afraid I was too tired to even hold him when he did come out. At about 11:00 pm and 25 hours of labor dr.ott made the call to do a c section. At this point I just wanted him out and to stop throwing up. I puked as they were prepping me for the or, I puked going down the hall, I puked on the flat table while I was being cut open!!! It was awful, but I remember the moment I heard Brody's cry I instantly felt better, actually I felt great! My energy level sky rocketed, I just wanted to see his face. Charlie stood up and looked over the curtain and said " he looks just like you" I was so excited! We both cried tears of joy.  Charlie went to see him while I rested, he brought him over to me a few minutes later. The same joy and pride I felt with Parker I felt instantly when I saw Brody. He was sleeping and I said "hi Brody" instantly those eyes opened and looked right at me. There are no words to describe that feeling. Pure joy!!!! I told him I had waited a long time to see him, he just looked at me like, "me too mom, me too"

Being a mommy to two beautiful boys is both tiring and amazing. I'm exhausted when I hit the bed at night but it's the best exhaustion ever! I love caring for both of them, I love watching them grow and learn. I love watching Parker slowly buy surely start to love on his brother. One day they will be the best of friends. One day I can tell them both their birth stories and how each were different they were both the best days of my life!!!

As shocked as I was to be pregnant I know it was Gods plan for us to adopt Parker first, he needed us and we needed him. He made me a more patient mom, a better mom, a more loving mom and a more faithful Christian. Gods plans are far greater than I can ever imagine. I'm honored God choose me to be these boys mommy. It's an honor to be able to tell them just how great our God is!!!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Time has come

Well after being completely shocked, having 14 weeks of morning sickness, two trips to triage for dehydration, feeling and watching my baby move, and one more trip to the triage for false labor...... Delivery day is here!!!!!!

I honestly cannot believe it's really here. I've got so many mixed emotions going on. I'm so ready to see Brody's face and kiss him and show him his wonderful family one are also ready to meet him. However I love having him with me all day, all night. Knowing his ok, knowing when he sleeps and when he's awake. I love knowing what makes him mad as and what makes him kick like a crazy person. I know I'm going to miss being pregnant. But on the other hand I can't wait to sleep in my belly, have all this pressure all the time, the pain and the soreness to be gone will be AMAZING!!!

I've sit here this morning with an upset tummy (hoping it wasn't the fair food I ate last night) not knowing what exactly is going to happen. How's this all gonna play out ?? Will I be able to go this? What's it going to be like? Fast labor lots of pushing? Slow labor fast pushing??? The questions and wonder are killing me. I finally had to sit down and just cry. Like my entire life I have no control of this situation but I know who does. So I turned to him. I know Gods got this, he's in control and I pray he wraps his hands around me and Brody and by tomorrow we will both be in each other's arms safe and sound. I pray that my sweet Parker understands that this is a new addition to our family and that I still love him more than anything!! I pray that I'm the mom that both my boys need and that I can be able to raise them in a Christian home and teach them about how wonderful our God is. I pray for both Parker and Brody's salvation and that we as parents raise them to understand just how blessed we are!

I sometimes feel I don't deserve this opportunity. I have a beautiful amazing little boy who I adore. I don't deserve to have another!!! Gods grace is do amazing He gives us more than we ever deserved!!! I'm forever thankful to my savior for his endless blessings!!!

Hopefully this time tomorrow Brody will be here to complete our family! I can't wait to see his beautiful face and thank God for he is so so good!!!!!

Friday, March 28, 2014

Update, update, update!

I feel like it's been a while since I'm updated. Being a mommy is busy work, being a pregnant mommy is even busier work cause I know have to rest between doing things with Parker ;).

Parker is growing like a weed!! He's walking/running everywhere! He's talking lots too, most of it I understand but some of it is just gibberish. He loves loves loves to eat. He wants a snack or a meal at all times. He plays so hard all day. My favorite thing about Parker is his love! He is the most loving child I've ever seen. He loves to hug and kiss you. Most of the time he will be running around playing and just come up to your legs hug then then kiss them. Sometimes he wants to to bend down so he can kiss your face. There is nothing more touching than Parker kisses!!! The most amazing part is he knows where "baby" is and will lift up my shirt just to kiss my belly. Ahhhh I can't take the sweetness, it's absolutely the greatest thing to have my heart swell with such love for him. He is sleeping pretty good in his new "big boy" room. He is the best little boy in the world, he's going to be a pretty great big brother in a few months.

Speaking of a few months, baby boy day (who's name we think we have, but are gonna wait to announce next week) will be here in about 3 more months! I go next week for another ultrasound, I'm excited to see how big he is, because my belly sure is getting big. He is a big mover, he kicks and rolls and moves a lot. Mostly at night and of course after my dessert :) we are currently working on his nursery, it's crazy that Parker is just 14 months old but how quickly I've forgotten what I need to take care of a newborn!! We are trying to mentally prepare for what it will be like to care for two instead of one. To be completely honest I'm more nervous thinking about how I can love this baby as much as I love Parker. I've never felt the kind of love that I do for Parker, it overflows and I'm praying for that same love for this one!! I'm beyond blessed for being able to have this opportunity to be a mommy again. This time will be different , labor does make me a little nervous. The only birth I've seen was Parker's and Andrea made that look like a piece of cake. I hope I'm as tough as she was!!

Speaking of Andrea, we were absolutely overjoyed to hear from our caseworker that next week Zayden will be returning to live with her. This means she has gotten clean, and worked hard to do what she had to to get him back. We couldn't be more proud of her. We ask that you continue to pray for her as she continues her sobriety. We love her and Zayden so very much and want the best for both of them! Andrea, we're so so proud of you and love you to the moon;)))

God is just blessing and blessing our little family and I can't wait to see what in store for the days, weeks, and years ahead!!!!