The boys are at my moms, Charlie is mowing and I'm drinking my coffee internally writing my blogs. So I decided that I probably needed to write them down so I could stop editing in my mind...😜
I tend to do that a lot, write blogs or think of good blogs to write about but never actually write it down. So with the quite of this morning I'm putting my blog in my head to paper...errr....to computer.
Last week we went to Boston for vacation. If you didn't already know Thomasland USA is located about an hour from Boston. This is why we chose that area. It was a different vacation for us because we're used to going to the beach and relaxing. In Boston there's not a whole lot of resting, just walking!!
We enjoyed our trip and our time with my parents. The boys loved thomasland and we all enjoyed the views and history. Because Boston is so far away and my children are wild and crazy we chose to fly instead of drive....:)
This is the boys first time flying, they were so excited!!! We boarded the plane and got all settled in. We then had to listen to the airline instructions and what to do in case of an emergency. They went over the flotation devises and the oxygen mask and so on. Once they finished they can down the isle and came to each person who had children. They told us in case of emergency to put our oxygen mask on first then the boys. At first I was confused. Why? Why would I do that? My boys come first I want to save them first, right? The longer I thought about this (the whole week...which lead to a blog idea...which lead to internally editing...which finally lead here) I began to understand. In order to save my children I have to be ok, be able to breath first. If I put the mask on them first then what if I run out of oxygen and don't make it? What would they do? In order to fully help my children I have to be ok, be safe, be ready! So this lead me to think of my parenting skills, my relationship with Charlie, my relationship with God. In my life, in my relationships do I put my mask on first to be ready to take care of others or do I put everyone else's mask on first and hope there's enough oxygen for me to get mine on????
Deep??? Maybe! But it really has me thinking. I give everything I have to my boys, they are the loves of my life you know? But, should I? Is it ok to give the leftovers to Charlie? To God???? No, it's not! It may sound selfish to put your mask on first, but really the reasoning isn't just for you, but for others! I have to be prepared, be ready, be ok before I can help or lead anyone else!!!
This is something I've really been bad at lately. My bible has sat on the table, my prayers are short and my time with Hod is limited. Then I wonder why I'm so short tempered, so annoyed or frustrated with Charlie or my boys! My oxygen is low, my spiritual health is failing! It's time for me to put my mask on first! Get in my bible, talk WITH God instead of AT God! Spend time with just Charlie, date my husband! Let our love for one another shine so our boys will know love and know what God can give!
The other day I asked Parker is he loved me, his response was yes of course. Then he said something I'll never forget. He said, "but mommy sometimes you yell....at daddy. That makes you not nice but still a good mommy". Oh my gosh! My heart broke! Yes, yes I yell at daddy, yes I do it front of the boys! Ouch! I forget so often that they are watching our every move, our every word, our every fight!! I then realized even more, I need my oxygen! Charlie and I get so caught up with our boys and work we forget about each other, which in turn causes stress and then mommy yelling at daddy.
Boston was a great trip, great vacation for us all. I however left with a little different perspective. It's ok to put myself first, take care of me so I can in return take care of my boys! My prayer is I can return to my bible, pray with God, listen to him. Date my husband, let him know his important. And in the end show my boys that because I love them sooooo much, I'll put my mask on first so I can take care of them forever!