October 16, 2012

Well yet again we are approaching another due date. Had everything worked out (in our favor) mom and I would be preparing for the births of our babies. We implanted 4 embryos but in my head and my heart ( and based on numbers) I believe mom has two of my babies and I had one. However we look at next Tuesday we will not be celebrating birthdays instead we will be remembering our babies and what would have been. This time I'm not dreading this day, I'm a little anxious but I know God has a plan and I know that he loves us unconditionally and he will give me the comfort that no one else can!

Also October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Please be in prayer for all women who have lost babies for it is the most painful experience.

On Monday October 15th at 7:00 I am asking that you will join us in lighting a candle for our babies. This is a worldwide event and if each person lights a candle at 7:00 there will be a wave of light across each time zone. We won't get to light birthday candles but we will light memory candles because those babies have truly changed my life. I will forever be great full for what I've been through and for what God is teaching me. Please light a candle for our babies!


I was suggested a book to read by a fellow lady who has been through everything we've been through and has now adopted a beautiful baby boy. The book is called couples who long for children. It's a devotion book and it has been such a blessing to me. I've been reading it on my days off and have seen so much of my experiences in the pages. I've come to realize a few things. First, I'm NOT bring punished my God!!! For a while I kept thinking what sin have I not asked for forgiveness for that God is allowing such heartache in my life? I've asked Charlie the same thing, " what haven't you asked forgiveness for?" I've been to numerous people and asked for their forgiveness for wrong doings I've done to them. I've begged for forgiveness pleaded for answers and still nothing. But this book says this is God's plan, not punishment!!!! I've had to stop and tell myself this over and over and over. It's not a punishment it's a plan!! Someone else got pregnant because that's Gods plan for them. We can't get pregnant because this is Gods plan for us. We're waiting for our mountain to move so that God can shine through.
Because of this book I've had time to stop and apologise to God for my temper, my doubt, and placing blame on him. I've rejoiced at the fact that God chose us to carry such a witness to others about his greatness, his timing and mostly his love!! Because God loves Charlie and I more than anything and is waiting till just the right time to bless us!!!
Please keep us in your prayers as we go through next week! It's a couple of days that we will give thanks for what God is doing and praise him in the bad times as well! We still haven't got " the call" yet but I'd appreciate your prayers for that too! God bless!!!