God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

There are a few things in life that I'm afraid of some of those are: spiders, heights,snakes,mice,spiders(yes I know I already said it but I hate them so much it deserves to be noted twice). Besides spiders I'm most afraid of failure, I once heard someone say that if you could do anything and knew you wouldn't fail what would it be? I automatically said IVF, again. Why? Because I know it would work, I know without a shadow of a doubt that we would be holding our baby at the end of the process.
Fear is a "spirit" and if we let it, it will control us. So God offers three better options, power, love and sound mind. I know sitting at home waiting for a baby to fall in our lap isn't going to happen. We have to get up and get out. We have to put our name out there, we have to listen to the doctors.  We cant let fear control our decisions.And right now I feel that is what I am doing. I honestly feel God leading us toward surrogacy, which will be an amazing experience for us and for the surrogate. However I let the fear of how crazy it is or what people will say lead me against it! We have someone in mind and in time if this is what God wants then we will share her with everyone! She is offering to do something so amazing and so selfless. But I still sit at home and worry about everything, will it go ok? Will she be ok? Can she do it? This consumes my thoughts. WHY? Because I'm not in control! And if you know me you know I'm a control freak!!! I have to make sure I know the next step to make. But when you put your faith in God you cant be in control! I don't know what the right choice is, but God does and I hope the answer falls right in my lap! I pray for peace and clarity to make the right choice!
 I saw on a surrogate shirt that said a certain religion didn't believe in surrogacy, it then said "glad that rule wasn't around when Jesus was born." After all Jesus was born to a surrogate...something to think about!