Thursday, October 25, 2012

A little bit about mom!

I wanted to wait to write this blog until we had more information, plus mom really didn't want me to but if you know me I'm going to do it anyway :)
About 3 months after our miscarriage mom was having lots of trouble with what we thought was her thyroid. After months of  abnormal behavior and nights of endless sleep, mom decided to go to the doctor. She had lots of blood test and they determined that in fact her thyroid was out of wack. So she was referred to a specialist at Vanderbilt. We traveled down there and meet with the doctor. We loved her so was so nice and very concerned. Because all of her symptoms didn't start until after the surrogacy and miscarriage we had to tell her our crazy story. She wanted to do testing but she was pretty sure she had Graves disease. Which is when the thyroid is inflamed and begins to attack the body. She told us that the increased hormones given during the surrogacy process caused her to get this disease.

After two days of testing it was confirmed that it was Graves disease. She has three options, keep the thyroid and take medication, radiation treatment to the thyroid or surgery to remove the thyroid. After another trip to the doctor she said the best decision was to have the thyroid removed. We went Monday to see the surgeon and he wants to get it out as soon as possible. She is scheduled to have surgery on November 2nd. It will be about a 2 week recovery and if all goes well and her medication is corrected she should be back to her self in no time.

These past few weeks have been very hard for me. My mom gave the ultimate sacrifice in being our surrogate. She put all the crazy meds in her system, she carried my babies for a small time and then had to go through the pain of losing them and staying so strong while she watched me go through such pain. As if that wasn't enough she has gone through months of pain and suffering and no sleep! She has been going crazy trying to feel better and its all because of me.

I pray that this surgery will make her feel better and things will go back to normal. I am forever grateful for what she did for me and what she continues to do. I pray that I can tell my children just how great their "bobo" is. I thank God for such a wonderful mother and pray that He works this out for his glory and honor!

Please keep mom is your prayers these next few weeks. She is an amazing women and I wish I could take this away from her. She will never know how grateful I am for her!!
****Side note**** Please keep my dad in your prayers as well, this whole process hasn't been easy on him either!!! He is a good, good man!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

October 16, 2012

Well yet again we are approaching another due date. Had everything worked out (in our favor) mom and I would be preparing for the births of our babies. We implanted 4 embryos but in my head and my heart ( and based on numbers) I believe mom has two of my babies and I had one. However we look at next Tuesday we will not be celebrating birthdays instead we will be remembering our babies and what would have been. This time I'm not dreading this day, I'm a little anxious but I know God has a plan and I know that he loves us unconditionally and he will give me the comfort that no one else can!

Also October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Please be in prayer for all women who have lost babies for it is the most painful experience.
On Monday October 15th at 7:00 I am asking that you will join us in lighting a candle for our babies. This is a worldwide event and if each person lights a candle at 7:00 there will be a wave of light across each time zone. We won't get to light birthday candles but we will light memory candles because those babies have truly changed my life. I will forever be great full for what I've been through and for what God is teaching me. Please light a candle for our babies!

I was suggested a book to read by a fellow lady who has been through everything we've been through and has now adopted a beautiful baby boy. The book is called couples who long for children. It's a devotion book and it has been such a blessing to me. I've been reading it on my days off and have seen so much of my experiences in the pages. I've come to realize a few things. First, I'm NOT bring punished my God!!! For a while I kept thinking what sin have I not asked for forgiveness for that God is allowing such heartache in my life? I've asked Charlie the same thing, " what haven't you asked forgiveness for?" I've been to numerous people and asked for their forgiveness for wrong doings I've done to them. I've begged for forgiveness pleaded for answers and still nothing. But this book says this is God's plan, not punishment!!!! I've had to stop and tell myself this over and over and over. It's not a punishment it's a plan!! Someone else got pregnant because that's Gods plan for them. We can't get pregnant because this is Gods plan for us. We're waiting for our mountain to move so that God can shine through.
Because of this book I've had time to stop and apologise to God for my temper, my doubt, and placing blame on him. I've rejoiced at the fact that God chose us to carry such a witness to others about his greatness, his timing and mostly his love!! Because God loves Charlie and I more than anything and is waiting till just the right time to bless us!!!
Please keep us in your prayers as we go through next week! It's a couple of days that we will give thanks for what God is doing and praise him in the bad times as well! We still haven't got " the call" yet but I'd appreciate your prayers for that too! God bless!!!