Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Oh how He loves us

A few years ago I was driving to work and listening to KLOVE and a lady was on talking about how she and her husband had just gotten married and she found out she was pregnant. She was so upset because they wanted to wait to have children but she was listening to KLOVE and heard The David Crowder Band song "How He loves" and she knew all would be ok. She said that her baby was brought into this world while that song was playing, she cried and cried at how much God loved her so much he gave her such a wonderful gift. I was crying right along with her and decided right then and there that when my baby was brought in this world he/she would be born with that song playing. It kinda became our theme song for IVF last year, we listen to that song before going into the retrieval and before going to do the transfer. After it didn't work I kind a put that song in the back of my head. When it came on the radio I turned it, when it played on my IPOD I skipped it. It brought back too many bad memories. It wasn't until last week when I was looking through pinterest and found this picture....
Its the lyrics to the song "How He loves" when I saw this I instantly started crying. God put this in my path. I posted it to my facebook page and went to moms page to tell her about it and noticed that 2 hours earlier she had posted the exact same thing....God wink!!! I immediately knew that I could listen to that song again. And I did and once again God began to work in my heart, I began to get excited about this process and know that at the end when the doctor puts that baby on my chest and in the background I hear,
O how He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way He loves

I get goosebumps at just how amazing that will be, all of this will be worth it and we will know that no matter what, He loves us...He really really loves us!!!!!! I cant wait to start this journey again and have this as our them song once more. God is so good and He has great things in store for us!!

On another note: I started my meds last Saturday and these past few days have been very difficult! My hormones are CRAZY! Im CRAZY! I tend to cry and scream and then cry again because I feel bad for screaming and then I start all over again!!! Its been a looonnnggg few days over here, so I will now ask for ALL prayers to go to Charlie! Bless his heart he has been a trooper but everything he says and does (because of the meds and no other reason) is wrong. I yell at him a lot, but he takes it and he helps me out and calms me down. These next few weeks are gonna be crazy and emotional and he seems to be ready! Please pray for him to continue to have patience and for my hormones to take a break. You may want to throw in a prayer for my dad because mom starts this same meds tomorrow......

We really do appreciate all the prayers and kind words that everyone has given us! We are really blessed to have such amazing people in out lives. This journey is underway and in just a few short weeks we will be implanting little "babies" we are so excited that God has placed this journey in front of us and that He has chosen us to fulfill His will!!!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Time of Praise

I wanted to start this time in our life the right way, with thanks and praise......

Tomorrow I start the first of MANY medications. Mom doesn't start hers until the 28th. We have appreciated all the prayers and uplifting words, and right now is when we are asking for them the most! This is it, the time we have prayed and worried and wondered about. The time is now, we are starting the most incredible journey and there is no turning back. God has opened this door and we are ALL walking through it. Please continue to remember our whole family in this journey, even though they are not physically going through this they are mentally going through this with us. When we hurt, they hurt, when we cry, they cry. I pray that God gives them the words to use to help us through this journey.

I have said it before and I will say it again no matter the outcome of this process, we will give God the glory and be happy for whatever He gives us. So today I want to stop and share praise and thanksgiving that is only found in His word......Thank you Lord for this journey, for it is in you that I find my strength!

Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. —Psalm 9:1

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!”—Psalm 50:23

Willingly I will sacrifice to Thee; I will give thanks to Thy name, O Lord, for it is good.---Psalm 54:6
It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High; —Psalm 92:1

Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.---Psalm 95:2

Sing to the LORD, bless His name; Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.---Psalm 96:2
Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous,
and give thanks to his holy name!—Psalm 97:12

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works! —Psalm 105:1-2

Willingly I will sacrifice to Thee; I will give thanks to Thy name, O Lord, for it is good. ---Psalms 116:10
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.—Philippians 4:6

In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God ...1 Thessalonians 5:18

Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.—Psalm 43:4

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works! —Psalm 105:1-2

Dear Lord,
We come to you tonight asking your blessing and your comfort over these next weeks. Please be with mom and I as we take this next step. Please continue to give us peace that only comes from you. We ask that you walk with us through each step, hold our hands and guide our hearts as we do your will. We want you to have ALL the glory and honor from this and we pray you use every last drop of us in your name! Thank you Jesus for all we have and all you have done for us. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to share your word and your name to others. We praise your name in all things! We ask all of this in Jesus wonderful name.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

God Winks......

My mom has a book called "God Winks". Its a book about the little things that happen in life that when you look back you know it had to be God. Its the little things in life that give you goose bumps, or otherwise known as "God Bumps". Today was one of those days that God winked on mom and I.
Yesterday Charlie had his appt to give his blood work and finalize all our papers. He is now completely finished with his part. We now focus on mom and I. So today we went to meet with Dr. Gentry's nurse Bea, to go over our medicines, our schedule and any questions we had. We were both a little nervous about what to expect. For me I knew we would leave there overwhelmed because its a lot to take in at one time. When we arrived we went back to a room and Bea went over mom's schedule first, the medicine she would be taking and when and how long. Then it was on to me, we went over my meds and why I needed them and what they did. She was so informative and helpful. We first noticed that Dr. Gentry is giving me so many more meds to help the pregnancy stay than our other doctor did. It seems to me that Dr.Gentry has it a little more together than our other doctor, and after today that was confirmed. Dr. Gentry has me on lots of meds to help with the antibodies. There is a very good chance that if we put eggs in me they will take. It very well may be that mom and I could be pregnant together!

After an amazing and very informative meeting, I gave Bea our Christmas card, which has this blog address on it. I wanted her to be able to read this and keep up with how we view things. She was so glad to see it and even said "Yes,pray until something happens, it 's what we have to do." She then got up and went to her office and brought me a copy of a bible study called Still Waiting by Elizabeth Robertson. She was a patient of Dr. Gentry's and wrote this bible study for women who are struggling with fertility. She gave me her personal copy so I can have it over the holidays to keep my mind occupied on God and how great He is!! GOD WINKED!!!!! He knew exactly what I needed when I needed it! For the next 30 minutes we just sat and talked about how great our God is and how He will see us through this! You have no idea how great it is to be going to a fertility clinic who knows the REAL creator, and I can share my beliefs with them and know that I have Godly women who work there!

The best part of this day was when Bea said " We have a high success rate because we give God the glory for every baby created here" PRAISE JESUS!!!!! What an amazing and humble thing to say, giving God the glory and not taking any of it for themselves!

God showed up at our meeting today, He sat right there beside us and gave Bea the right words to say to us. From this moment on God is in control, He is taking over the experience and no matter the outcome. One baby, four babies or no babies I am in this for the glory of the Lord. He will receive every credit for whatever happens. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, this will be all worth it! We have said before that it is hard to pay so much for not knowing the outcome. But I believe that if we start believing in miracles God will start handing them out!!!!

To God be the Glory........