Tuesday, September 6, 2016

My baby is going to Preschool, and why im so emotional about it

So this week my sweet oldest baby started 3 year old preschool. This is a pretty big milestone for any mother, its an emotional time. For me, I'm a very emotional person anyway but this week has been really, really rough for me. As I was getting Parker ready this morning I was very calm and trying to take in each word he spoke and then it hit me. My baby going to preschool isn't what's making me so emotional, its the fact that if God hadn't placed him in our life, I have no idea where he would be today. And if I let my imagination get the best of me I COULD have an idea of where he would be.

We were and continue to be blessed that Andrea listen to her heart and that God led her to us. We prayed and prayed for a baby for so long and our answered prayer was in the form of adoption of a beautiful 6lb baby boy. I heard his first cry, cut his cord, fed him from my body. He is mine, my baby, my sweet angel that for the past 3 years ive played and taught and laughed with. There are many times that I have to stop and just thank God for that moment, that hes mine, because its then that my mind wonders to "if he wasn't here with me where/what would he be doing?" Its a thought Im sure most adoptive mommies have. It happens often and we really never say it out loud, its just a thought, because we cant go there. We live in the now, hes here with me to love and show love and that's what keeps us going everyday.

If you've ever met my Parker then your life has been forever changed. Hes pretty much the greatest thing since slice bread. His heart is as big as the sky. He has NEVER met a stranger. He loves and he loves BIG!!!! Everyone he has ever came in contact with never leaves he sight without a smile, a wonderful "Ive just been blessed smile!" His love for everyone is huge, he cares so much about everything. He radiates love and joy, it honestly feels like it just leaks from every part of his body. It qualities I hope he never loses and just gets greater as he grows.

With all that said, its God's amazing grace that that little sweet boy is MINE. He was given to me and Charlie and we have not one day taken that for granted. So sending my little miracle to preschool has been hard because he's growing up on me. But, its also because I know what an amazing piece of God's grace we've been given and I want to cherish it forever. I know there are many places he could of been right now, but i'm grateful that he's right where he's supposed to be!!