Her life never really go any easier after the adoption. She got clean, then fell back into it again. She made some mistakes, and conquered her demons. She would get her head above water only to go back under again. Not one person can say she didn’t try...because she tried oh so hard.
I watched most of this play out on Facebook. I can keep up with her through there. My heart would ache with her posts of failure and rejoice with her in her achievements. She did receive her GED not long ago and that was a big moment for her.
We pray for her daily and daily I worry if I shared my love for Jesus with her enough. I tried so many times to be sure she knew that HE was the reason we have and love Parker.
A few months ago she reached out to me through Facebook messenger. I’ve set all my stuff to private so her finding me and messaging me scared me to death. Her only message said “I wanted to tell you that I love you guys so much” it made me so nervous that she’s found me. I immediately blocked her (for safety purposes, and I contacted GLAD so she’s know we weren’t mad but couldn’t communicate through Facebook) and started a letter to her to put on this blog to let her know how much we love her too.
Yesterday afternoon we learned that on March 23rd at 4:30am Andrea passed away. We have no answers as to what happened. My heart is completely broken. I’m broken for my Parker. He will never know just how much she loved him, how much she gave up for him, how much she gave ME! We are still processing everything and Parker has no idea. I look at him and tears swell in my eyes as to how he has no idea that she’s gone. I cry thinking if she hadn’t given us life that he would be orphaned right now. My heart just breaks!
Parenting is so hard, very hard and then you throw in the factors of adoption and I’m just trying so hard not to screw it all up.
I honestly don’t know her relationship with Jesus, I pray she was a child of God and is dancing in heaven with her mom. I pray that’s where she is so for the rest of Parker’s life she can get a front row seat to see how awesome he is because of what she did!!!!
I’m asking for prayers for us, for guidance in the days and weeks and years to come. Parker doesn’t know and probably won’t till his ready to hear his story in full.
Please lift up Andreas two other boys, Zayden and Easton. They have lost the only momma they know. I have no idea what will happen to them.
God has had this plan all along. His plans are better than ours even when don’t understand!