From my point of view..... Mom

Many people are wondering...what's next????? The answer...we wait.
Throughout this entire process, and honestly for the first time in my life, I can say, I have been 100% in the will of God. As a family, we prayed and prayed and prayed for God's will and we all knew, without a shadow of a doubt, we were obediently following the plan God had laid out for us to follow. Everywhere we looked, we would see God. Everything we did, we would see God. There was never a time we doubted that we were being obedient.

When I woke up, Friday Feb 3, I was soooo sick!!! The best sick I had ever been in my life. I knew then, God had blessed me with my grand baby!! Sometime during the day, Donnie and I decided we would confirm what we already knew and take a pregnancy test. When I came home from work that afternoon, I took the test. I left the bathroom to go into the kitchen and before I'd had time to fix myself a glass of water, Donnie said, "I think it's time". I laughed and called back to him, "No, Donnie, we wait three minutes". He giggled (yes, I said giggled) and said, "No, I think it's time." I knew by his voice he had already been in the bathroom and checked the test and yes, it was postiive!!! My Donnie was like a little school girl...he couldn't contain his excitement!! It was precious!!! Then he sat down and with tears streaming down his face and said the sweetest words... "Robyn, I'm so humbled!! I don't know why, but God has trusted us to to bring our grandchild into this world...what an honor that God chose us." It was at that very moment, I became attached to that little child growing inside me...my grand baby...my daughter and son-in-law's baby.

Later that same night, we also learned that Lynsey was pregnant. I'll be honest, I was a little shocked, but joy and excitement filled my heart!! I'll never forget that night, that moment changed me forever. I share this, not for people to be sad for us, but because I want you to know the joy we experienced for a few days. Joy we were able to experience because God Blessed us. And let me also add...those days were some of the best days of our entire lives!!!!!

Unfortunatly, our excitement was short lived... a few days later, God answered our prayer....He closed the door...No, He slammed the door! And, yes, it took us by surprise. Were we shocked? Yes. Were we sad? Yes. Were we disappointed? Yes. Were we heartbroken? Yes. Are we still all those things? ABSOLUTELY!!!
Have we stopped loving God because of this? NO!!! The best part of all this is also the hardest part....we asked for God's will...We asked if this wasn't God's will that He would close the door... and as hard as it is to accept, God answered our prayer...He closed the door... GOD DID WHAT HE KNEW WOULD BE BEST FOR OUR LIVES!! Sometimes that hurts. But, because God loves us, He closed the door on this journey. Why? He has something much, much better in store for our lives!!!

Since, Lynsey and I lost the pregnancies our families have had difficult days. We are grieving our loss and it's hard. During this process, we have experienced the evil of Satan. He is using our weak moments to weezle his way into our lives trying to break us down. Satan is powerful...he knows our weaknesses and he has attacked those weaknesses everyday. There have been times when I've cried out to Donnie and some of my friends asking, "why is God doing this?" I am so blessed to have Godly people surrounding me everyday who remind me, "Robyn, that's not God. Those bad things are Satan!!" Satan doesn't want our family to give God the glory for anything. He doesn't want us to say that God knows best. He doesn't want God to be glorified....PERIOD. We have to stop everyday and say..."Satan..you will NOT be victorous over us!!" And you know what, sometimes we have to say that more than one time a day because satan doesn't give up!

God has a plan for Lynsey and Charlie!! I believed that when we started this process. I believed that with every shot we took. I believed it with every pill we swallowed , I believed it when Dr. Gentry retrieved the eggs, I believed it when we did the transfer, I believed it when we got pregnant, and I BELIEVE IT TODAY!!! GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL!! GOD STILL HAS A PLAN!! AND GOD IS AN ALL LOVING, ALL KNOWING, ALL POWERFUL, ALL EVERYTHING GOD!!! So, what's next? We wait...we grieve...we listen...we get better...we hear...and we obey!!! When will we know? Only God knows that answer, but I know my God has a plan...a plan to prosper us and NOT harm us...a plan to give us hope and a future. I believe that with all my heart!! We may be sad but that sadness doesn't mean we have lost faith in God. Our sadness and hurt is developing us into stronger, more loving, more compasanate people. We don't know why, but for some crazy reason, God has chosen our little family to go through this and now...we wait patiently upon the Lord!!!! PUSH!!!!
Somebody's Praying

Somebody's Praying, I can feel it
Somebody's praying for me
Mighty hands are guiding me
To protect what I can't see
Lord I believe, Lord I believe
That Somebody's prayin, for me.

Angels are watchin', I can feel it
Angels are watchin' over me
There's many miles ahead 'til I get home
Still I'm safely kept before your thrown
'Cause Lord I believe, Lord I believe
Your angels are watchin' over me.

Well, I've walked through barren wilderness
When my pillow was a stone
And I've been through the darkest caverns
Where no light had ever shown.
Still I went on 'cause there was someone
who was down on theri knees
And Lord, I thank you for those people
Prayin' all this time for me.

Somebody's prayin', I can feel it
Somebody's prayin for me
Mighty hands are guiding me
To protect me from what I can't see
Lord I believe, Lord I believe
Somebody's prayin' for me...

Thanks to everyone praying for healing!!!