Well it's been such a roller coaster of emotions this week!
I'll start with Friday February 3rd that morning on my way to work I got a call from mom. She sounded a little upset but she said " Lynsey, I don't need to take a pregnancy test." and I said ok why. She replied " because I'm so so sick" I just laughed, she had been sick all morning. When I hung up the phone I turned Klove back up and David Crowder was singing our song. I just cried and cried. God Wink!
That afternoon when I was leaving work I checked my phone and saw mom had sent me a picture message. It was a picture of a positive pregnancy test. I couldn't believe it. I called her and I could hear anything she was saying because dad was yelling in the background like a little school girl! She said she knew the whole time she just wanted to prove it. So she said ok Its your turn. I had to go try on bridesmaid dresses so it would be a while. After I was done I rushed home to take a test. My home pregnancy test was the two line one. So when I peed I saw a faint line. Charlie couldn't see it, so he says. So we went to Charlie's parents to tell them. I should them moms picture and then showed them my test and sure enough they saw the line too.
Mom and dad were on there way to my house to get more medicine so I told her to bring her digital test so we could be sure. When they got to the house I went ahead and took the digital test ( because dad was going to have a heart attack if I didn't) we made Charlie go look. He came out of the bathroom really quite when he look Ed up from the test he said " looks like we're having two babies" we all screamed and cried! We were all in shock! I've never ever seen Charlie so happy in all my life! Our dreams were coming true! We sent out the picture of both test to some family. It was so hard not to tell everyone. I even talked to Dr. Gentry and he said it was ok to be excited, we were pregnant! We've never been pregnant before. This was the farthest we've ever been! You can't even imagine the excitement!!!!!
The next few days were rough for me and mom, she had morning sickness and I had night sickness. As bad as it was it was totally worth it!
Tuesday morning I woke up about 4 so sick! Charlie found me in the bathroom and said " we paid a lot of money for you to be like this" ha ha. After 3 hours and LOTS of sickness later I began to wonder if it was a bug. I decided to call Dr. Gentry's office to see what I needed to do. Bea called back and said its probably not a bug but something called hyperemesis. It is extreme sickness that's caused my multiples. She wanted me to get to Evansville for bloodwork ASAP! Since we were going ahead with the pregnancy test she said mom could have hers done too. I instantly began to panic, multiples!!!! Oh no!
Dad drive mom and I to get the bloodwork, we knew the test would be positive we were just nervous about the possibility on multiples. About an hour and a half after the bloodwork Bea called. She said all my labs were fine so it may just have been a bug. She also said our tests came back positive but our levels were low. We instantly panicked! She told us not to worry that it was still good. We were in shock, here we were just a few minutes earlier trying to decide what to do with all these babies and now our two babies could possibly be in danger.
We had to go back Thursday to see if our numbers doubled. If they double everything was going good if not we were in danger of losing them. Wednesday was a rough day of wonder and worry and lots of Internet looking. Wasn't a good idea!
By Thursday I was a nervous wreck, we didn't get the call until 3 hours after the bloodwork. Bea said mine and mom's level went down. My heart sank! I just couldn't believe it!
She told us that if we had a positive test on Friday that our hcg was probably high then and we probably began losing them over the weekend.
I've asked Charlie before if he thought it was harder to not get pregnant or get pregnant and lose it. We found our answer yesterday. I'm not sure if I've ever known such pain. I feel like it was a joke to be so excited one minute and do heartbroken the next. I feel like there is someone somewhere laughing and pointing and saying " you actually thought it would work" ha ha ha!
We appreciate all the prayers text and kind words. We are very very lucky to have so many people who love us and care for us. Please continue to pray for healing and peace as we face these next few days.
God allowed us to go through this journey for a reason. He allowed me to do this blog for His purpose. Even though at this very moment I can't understand why I know that His plan is way better than ours. He knows my desire for a baby and hopefully one day we will know the joy of being parents. If its even close to what we felt for those few days I can't wait! God is still a good God and we will still trust and serve Him!
We go to see Dr. Gentry next week to see what to do next. Bea mentioned that we may have an embryo problem. If so I don't know if it will ever work. Regardless of what he wants to do mom and I both need to let our bodies heal. Pray for us in these next few days as our bodies will go through a lot. Lots of pain and lots of heartache.
I have a quote around my house from psalms that says "weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning". One morning my joy will come, one morning.
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